Sunday, November 25, 2012

Number 2 Update: Finished

Merry Christmas Season!

Sorry about the super long delay, I'll spare the excuses because I know you've all been on the edge of your seats waiting for an update...or something like that. ;)

Last Tuesday I had "the" big ultra know, where they check on the baby's heart, stomach, size, limbs, and to make sure it doesn't have any birth defects and such. During the scan, the tech asked if I had any problems. I wanted to say, "Nope! I've had a perfect and the easiest pregnancy problems here!," but since Christmas is just around the corner, and Santa is in fact watching me, I decided sarcasm was just not the answer!  I, instead, told her about the hemorrhages and that I had gotten a scan done at the hospital just two weeks earlier.  She got the report faxed to her (the advantages of my hospital, dr, and imaging center being basically all-in-one) and was able to compare those images to the hemorrhages in their current state.  I've learned that when anyone in the medical field gives you their poker face, it's not good, and since I had a feeling they had gotten worse over the two weeks, I knew this was bad.

After a few more minutes, the tech went to talk to the radiologist, and they came in to finish the scan.  He did a few things here and there and proceeded to tell me both of the babies are perfect.


That's right people, he told me we were having twinsies!  Thankfully, he was in a REALLY good mood that day and was just joking. Seriously? Seriously. He checked around a little more and asked if I had any bleeding lately.  I told him no, and it had actually been several days since I had (TMI? Sorry).  The following conversation went something like this...

          Dr. H: That's good, because all of the hemhorrages have disappeared!
          Me: Wait, what?
          Dr. H: You don't have any more bleeding!
          Me: By gone, do you mean smaller?
          Dr. H: No, G-O-N-E! You're healed!

I, of course, immediately started sobbing.  The past five weeks of bed rest...the excruciating back pains...the mental fights...weeks of wondering what I did wrong...blaming myself for something I had no idea what I'd done...was the baby going to be ok...what would I do if something happened...all of it...


I finished up with that doctor, and headed straight upstairs for my appointment with Dr. B.  She read the report and asked me what all the radiologist said.  When I told her, she didn't believe me, and had to finish reading before she would talk to me!  When she realized I hadn't grossly misunderstood him,  she was as relieved and excited as I was!  After the excitement wore out enough, we talked about options for now:

1. I am FINISHED with bed arrest
2. I am FINISHED with those dumb perinatal appointments
3. I am FINISHED with the biweekly ultrasounds

At this point, I decided to test my luck and see how far I could push and ask her the most outlandish question possible...

          Me: Can I go running?
          Dr. B: Uhh...Are you being serious?
          Me: Actually, yes, my body is craving activity.
          Dr. B: If it improves your mood and helps with your contractions* then sure. 

4. I am FINISHED being a sloth!
*Yes, contractions are back in full force, but thankfully my pain meds have made them bearable without knocking me out for 18 hours.

I'm not really sure what else to write.  The mix of emotions stirring up inside me has kept me from really grasping what has happened.  I was told I would lose the baby by 18 weeks.  There wasn't a way for the it to survive.  At 18 weeks and 1 day, I was told not only was the baby perfectly healthy, but my body had completely healed.  Maybe I'll be able to add more once I've wrapped my head around all of this.  Maybe I will never fully understand the miracle growing inside me...
You may not believe in miracles, but this kid is LIVING proof that we have a LIVING God who is very active in our lives and performs miracles

 every. single. day.

Thank you to each of our friends, family members, and complete strangers most of all for the prayers you lifted up specifically for us, for the encouragement, babysitting, food, visits, and even the "I wish I could physically be there with and for you."  I know I keep saying thank you, but it never seems like enough.  I wish I could repay you, but there just isn't a way.  So, once again, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Until next time..
j squared and e squared

Monday, November 12, 2012

Number 2 Update: Why I Will Choose to Be Thankful and Gender Discussion

The past week or so has been the hardest on me mentally.  I've complained vented to some of those closest to me, so now, in the spirit of the holiday that is keeping me from decorating for Christmas Thanksgiving, I will choose to be thankful...very thankful...annoyingly thankful.  But, before we discuss that, here's the update on No.2.

Last Monday, I had a very good appointment.  My body seemed to be healing nicely and Dr. B was pleased with everything.  Then Tuesday came.  Things got worse, and quickly...sending me back to the ER.  After a long wait, and an even longer ultra-sound (No.2 got "stuck" and was stubborn), the radiologist came in and said baby is still doing well, but my body...not so much.  I was having more bleeding and they just weren't healing.  S-T-R-I-C-T...B-E-D...A-R-R-E-S-T.

What.  The.  Heck.

By Thursday, I was pretending to need to use the restroom just to get out of bed.

I'm so sneaky ;)

By Friday, my mom and Jarrod had had enough of me and my attitude, and by Saturday neither of them wanted to come near the bedroom...I'm pretty sure I could hear their eyes rolling when I asked for something. I could tell my body was getting better, but I still needed to be extra careful.

Today, I had another appointment with some good news...FINALLY!!!  The results from my ultra sound on Tuesday showed that the clots have decreased significantly, and No.2 is still perfect.  Dr. B said I can do a few things outside the house...basically if I'm sitting down, then she's ok with it, but if I get worse, back to 100%, your brains will explode if you get out of bed, don't even think about moving, bed arrest.  I can handle that.

Here's what's in store for the future:
1. "Big" ultra-sounds every two weeks.
2. Dr. B. said I still had to see the high risk dr even though I BEGGED her not to make me go.
3. Weekly visits with Dr. B.

I should have my own reserved parking spot there.

Serious face.

Now, here is what I will choose to dwell upon, instead of complaining and thinking of everything bad that is happening:
1. Jarrod's new job came at the perfect time. It has already proven to be a part of God's perfect timing in the fewer than two months that he's been there.
2. The privilege of bed arrest.  Not everyone has parents like mine that will or can come for weeks at a time to take care of Elliot and me.  Not everyone has a husband that is home for 10 straight days like Jarrod, and is willing or able to take care of Elliot and me.  Not everyone has a comfy bed and a bedroom that is big enough to be turned into a bedroom, living area, dining room, and play room so I won't be alone all day.
3. I have sisters and friends who are constantly checking on my mental and physical well being.  They won't let me even come close to feeling like I'm alone in all this.
4. I have a dr. who is top notch.  She takes the time to talk with me about every single detail of what's going on, both teaching me and helping me discuss options on the baby's care. Plus, she's really ridiculously smart, so I feel COMFORTABLE with whatever she suggests.
5. I have a church family who has taken such wonderful care of us. They have set up a care calendar for us and we get gourmet-ish meals three nights a week, and they usually last for two days including lunch and dinner. (i.e. fewer groceries and lots of home cooked meals!)

Of course I'm thankful for so much more like air, clothes, blah, blah, blah, but these are the overwhelming examples of how God is providing for us financially, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Now for the gender discussion!
No.2's gender has been confirmed 4 times now...I mean who else gets to find out at 13 weeks what they're having?!  The name has been finalized.

No.2 is a...


You didn't REALLY think I was going to tell you, did you?  Silly, silly! I WILL tell you that No.2's first and last initials will be E.C.

Now that you all hate me...

Please continue to pray for our family, my body, and No.2, and know that each prayer lifted is appreciated.  A lot.

Until next time...
j squared and e squared