Merry Christmas Season!
Last Tuesday I had "the" big ultra sound...you know, where they check on the baby's heart, stomach, size, limbs, and to make sure it doesn't have any birth defects and such. During the scan, the tech asked if I had any problems. I wanted to say, "Nope! I've had a perfect and the easiest pregnancy ever...no problems here!," but since Christmas is just around the corner, and Santa is in fact watching me, I decided sarcasm was just not the answer! I, instead, told her about the hemorrhages and that I had gotten a scan done at the hospital just two weeks earlier. She got the report faxed to her (the advantages of my hospital, dr, and imaging center being basically all-in-one) and was able to compare those images to the hemorrhages in their current state. I've learned that when anyone in the medical field gives you their poker face, it's not good, and since I had a feeling they had gotten worse over the two weeks, I knew this was bad.
After a few more minutes, the tech went to talk to the radiologist, and they came in to finish the scan. He did a few things here and there and proceeded to tell me both of the babies are perfect.
That's right people, he told me we were having twinsies! Thankfully, he was in a REALLY good mood that day and was just joking. Seriously? Seriously. He checked around a little more and asked if I had any bleeding lately. I told him no, and it had actually been several days since I had (TMI? Sorry). The following conversation went something like this...
Dr. H: That's good, because all of the hemhorrages have disappeared!
Me: Wait, what?
Dr. H: You don't have any more bleeding!
Me: By gone, do you mean smaller?
Dr. H: No, G-O-N-E! You're healed!
I, of course, immediately started sobbing. The past five weeks of bed rest...the excruciating back pains...the mental fights...weeks of wondering what I did wrong...blaming myself for something I had no idea what I'd done...was the baby going to be ok...what would I do if something happened...all of it...
I finished up with that doctor, and headed straight upstairs for my appointment with Dr. B. She read the report and asked me what all the radiologist said. When I told her, she didn't believe me, and had to finish reading before she would talk to me! When she realized I hadn't grossly misunderstood him, she was as relieved and excited as I was! After the excitement wore out enough, we talked about options for now:
1. I am FINISHED with bed arrest
2. I am FINISHED with those dumb perinatal appointments
3. I am FINISHED with the biweekly ultrasounds
At this point, I decided to test my luck and see how far I could push and ask her the most outlandish question possible...
Me: Can I go running?
Dr. B: Uhh...Are you being serious?
Me: Actually, yes, my body is craving activity.
Dr. B: If it improves your mood and helps with your contractions* then sure.
4. I am FINISHED being a sloth!
*Yes, contractions are back in full force, but thankfully my pain meds have made them bearable without knocking me out for 18 hours.
I'm not really sure what else to write. The mix of emotions stirring up inside me has kept me from really grasping what has happened. I was told I would lose the baby by 18 weeks. There wasn't a way for the it to survive. At 18 weeks and 1 day, I was told not only was the baby perfectly healthy, but my body had completely healed. Maybe I'll be able to add more once I've wrapped my head around all of this. Maybe I will never fully understand the miracle growing inside me...
You may not believe in miracles, but this kid is LIVING proof that we have a LIVING God who is very active in our lives and performs miracles
every. single. day.
Thank you to each of our friends, family members, and complete strangers most of all for the prayers you lifted up specifically for us, for the encouragement, babysitting, food, visits, and even the "I wish I could physically be there with and for you." I know I keep saying thank you, but it never seems like enough. I wish I could repay you, but there just isn't a way. So, once again, thank you, thank you, thank you!
Until next time..
j squared and e squared